Hope

I would like to talk to you today about this funny little thing called hope. We hear it a lot- ‘I hope this happens, I hope that happens’ or ‘Faith Hope and Love’ from 1 Corinthians 13. But how often do we really stop to think about what that means and what it means to each of us individually?

A quick google search gives the definition: ‘a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen’. That’s easy. That’s also typically how we use it in our everyday lives. And I suppose it’s not that far off. To find a more Christian definition of the word, I took a look at three websites (one of which being the Catechism). They all pretty much said the same thing so I took the shortest and easiest to understand (because I’m sure nobody here cares to read the Catechism in all its length and complicated wording…). Even the shortest one is a good paragraph long, so I’ll just take the first two sentences.

Catholicculture.org says hope is “The confident desire of obtaining a future good that is difficult to attain. It is therefore a desire, which implies seeking and pursuing; some future good that is not yet possessed but wanted, unlike fear that shrinks from a future evil.” (https://www.catholicculture.org/culture/library/dictionary/index.cfm?id=33993)

I love this definition. I read it quite a few times and picked up something new each time. But instead of picking apart these two sentences (which I could very well do if you’d like me to), let’s now get away from definitions and into the good stuff now that we have that down and in mind.

I could easily say some very true yet very cliche things about hope like ‘it’s my light at the end of the tunnel’ or ‘it’s the sun on a rainy day’.

But I don’t wanna do that and you don’t wanna hear that. So let’s get personal. Because when it really comes down to it, hope is a personal thing, isn’t it? Because if hope is the ‘desire of obtaining a future good’, and everyone’s future is different (maybe even our heavens are different- how knows?), then each future good is customized and deeply personal. So what do you desire? What is your best possible future? What is the one thing you are constantly seeking and pursuing? What clashes with your fears and doubts violently with gnawing teeth? Maybe your fears and hopes are the same thing- what if you’re scared it’s too good to be true?

We all searched our minds and hearts as we read those questions- so what came to yours?

Depending on where you are in life, you could be thinking short term (like getting through today, or this week, or this semester) or long term (like what you would like to do with your life, or when you’re 60, or when you’re in heaven). I, for one, am so polarized I think only one day at a time, and yet with the long term of heaven in mind, having no idea what could possibly be between.

When I think about hope, I think about my struggle with mental illness. For whatever reason, my mental health tends to be at its worst late at night. Overthinking, loneliness, panic, and insomnia all ensue from my worst nights. And yet, the next morning, I wake up refreshed and ready to start the day, with little thought of my struggles the night before. Why?

I’ve found sleep erases these struggles. If I go to sleep for the night or take a nap midday feeling anxious, I no longer feel that way when I wake up. I’ve compared the feeling of calming down from a panic attack to that of waking up from a nightmare and realizing it was all just a dream.

Hope is not listening to the thoughts that show you a mirror and say ‘look at you’ with disdain. Hope is knowing friends are just one text away. Hope is knowing peace is within reach, even as you struggle to breath. Hope to me is knowing that even in your darkest, longest night, sleep will come. Morning will come. Very soon everything will be alright.

Your future good is not out of reach. Maybe it’s even tomorrow.

#Faith #Hope #Anxiety